Monday, 24 February 2014

Loving me.

I have spent the last 12 months learning a lot about me. Doing courses that peel off layers and help me see where I am and where I would like to be. I have started a journey to loving myself and accepting that I am me, and I am great.

There seems to be a 'spiritual' awakening happening around the globe. Spiritual in the sense of the spirit of self.

Image source: Pinterest

The only problem I am finding with all of it is a lot of the people embarking on this journey around me are not parents. Or if they are parents, they have young children. I find some things hard to relate to.

I have nothing (at ALL) against this. I just find that there are times when I think - how am I supposed to fit this into my life as well?

I have four children.

To be completely honest with you, I started this journey for my children. For my daughters because I want them to value themselves as much as I value them. And as Brene Brown says 'You can only love someone as much as you love yourself.' I needed to re-evaluate how much I loved ME.

Image source: Pinterest

There are a lot of courses, e-courses or face to face, out there to choose from. There are life coaches and there are ebooks. They are all fantastic. They all require some level of commitment.

I have four children.

I work. I have my hobbies. Where am I supposed to fit in yoga? Meditation? Me time?

What do you mean stop drinking wine at night? How will I get through the dinner, bath and bed routine? More water? I don't have time and I need the caffeine.

But I did it. Some days I don't get time for yoga, some days I don't meditate. But I notice when I don't. More importantly, my kids notice when I don't.

The other day on the way to school we realised Big Mudpie had forgotten his library bag. We were already late. I was almost late for work as well. I started yelling. I turned the car around. We went home.

While I was running into the house I realised something. He is only a kid. He didn't mean to make us late. Yes he needs to listen more. I am not taking responsibility for him forgetting his library bag, but I am taking responsibility for how I reacted to it.

I got back in the car and calmly said - "Next time you are on your own. You forget this after my reminder and you miss out for the week". He hasn't forgotten it again (so far).

That afternoon Big Butterfly asked me if I had meditated that morning - I replied that no, I had been too late in getting out of bed. She commented "I thought so, you never yell when you are meditating". It was offhand and she didn't mean it as a criticism, just something she had noticed.


Image source: Pinterest
I took notice too.

I have stopped drinking alcohol at all during the week. I rarely drink it on weekends. Is there more yelling through the night time routine? Actually, no. Surprisingly, no.

I am not telling you this to be self righteous. At all. Although make no mistake, I am proud of how far I have come. I am just trying to work out which bits of this self-realisation and self-love work for parents, mothers especially.

I am certain that any mum who takes the challenge to love themselves more will be thankful for it within 6 months of beginning the journey.

I am so certain of this that I am thinking of starting my own business to make this more accessible to mums. Young and old. New and experienced.

We as women, and especially as mums, need to stand together and say that it is ok to love ourselves. Not just pay lip service to that, but to really deeply truly love ourselves. It isn't easy and it takes time. It hurts sometimes and it can be huge, but when we get to the point when we can cut ourselves some slack and we can accept who we are as the best we can be, it feels incredible.

Image Source: Me

Because I am enough. You are enough. We are all enough.


Monday, 13 January 2014

Being perfect.

I am imperfect.

I write that and in my head I think, 'yes I am, but I should be the most perfect imperfect person I know'.

Thats because I just can't let go of being, or at least appearing, perfect. But the thing is that we all have different things that we think we should be perfect at. I am not a person who thinks I need to look perfect all the time. Anyone who knows me will know I go out without make up, I am ok with looking imperfectly me.

My Reading Nook.

But try calling me and asking me if you can pop over for a cuppa after school drop off when the vacuuming hasn't been done for 2 days and the breakfast dishes are still in the sink. I turn into the over achiever from hell.

Our Outside Area.

In 'The Power of Vulnerability', Brene Brown talks about the two distinct reactions people have to anxious situations. You are either an overfunctioner (which is apparently very common for a first child - and even more so for a first daughter) or an underfunctioner. I am obviously a first daughter - lets just put it that way!

So I get the call and I love seeing my friends so of course I say 'sure, I would love to see you'. Then I race around the house, screaming at people to do things 'Big Butterfly - put away the placemats, Little Mudpie - vacuum under the table and in the kitchen (he actually loves this job and would do anything to vacuum at anytime)' etc.

Then I put them on the bus and spend the next 30 minutes redoing what I asked them to do.

Now my Ego is popping up here and asking me to tell you that really the house is always pretty clean anyway. Which it is. My mum would say 'Leanne it is fine, your house is beautiful - stop worrying about it and enjoy your friends', and again she is right, my house would be fine to entertain people in at almost any point in time.

I am real and we get crumbs on the floor. I am real and I have days when I don't want to see people. Just like I am real and I have days where I go to Coles with my hair wet and dripping because we have just gotten back from the beach (which of these am I ok with? Just number 3 - so you know).

Other trigger points for me include getting 'everything' done. Being a 'perfect' mum - which is an oxymoron and many many more. It would be interesting to see what others have as their triggers.

The Family Room.
The reality is - no human is perfect. To be honest I am pretty sure no-one expects me to be anyway. Except me.

So I wonder what would happen if I didn't actually get to clean my house before someone came over. Would they still like me? And if they didn't - would they be worth keeping? If the did still like me - what would they think of me?

I remind myself of the times that I have called in to a friends house and they had crumbs on the floor. Did I care? Not at all. Its ok to show people that you are real and in doing so you are opening yourself up to deeper and more caring relationships than ever before. When you show vulnerability (in whatever form) you are giving that person the chance, not just to hurt you, but to show you how much they care and your connection becomes deeper. And lets face it, thats why we are all here - to connect to people.

My Imperfect Family Room.

I am always going to do my best. Will I stop trying to keep my house neat and clean? No because that is how I like it to be, and I feel I can relax better in my home when it is nice and clean. Am I going to keep over functioning every time someone is coming over, causing more stress for myself and my family? No I am not. I am going to accept that it is ok for people to see that I am real and sometimes there are crumbs on the floor. I am human.

And I (and my house - sometimes) are imperfect.

Sunday, 5 January 2014

New Years Resolutions.....or not!

I grew up loving New Years Resolutions, the energy that surrounds the going of an old year and the coming of a new year would have me dizzy for weeks! I would have lists and piles of things I wanted to achieve in the new year - most of which carried over from the previous year. As I settled into the calm of February and March and slipped back to my normal ways.

I went through a period at uni where I would make the resolutions as minimalist as possible, all the while still requiring a large amount of commitment and dedication to the cause.



When 2011 came to an end I made a decision not to have any New Years Resolutions - ever again (in retrospect this seems very much like its own resolution - but I digress). I was burnt out and rebelling against many many things.

When 2012 came to an end I decided to make my resolutions again. But this time it was simple. Live life more simply.

2013 served me well, and I feel I achieved my resolution, although these days I would rather refer to it as an intention. Resolution makes me feel that I should be changing myself in some way.

2013 was an amazing year of finding myself. For the first time in 9 years I was at home with only one child, and this time the child wasn't a baby but a 5 year old. Who could play with me, play by himself and be (a little) self sufficient. It was a year of realising what I really want from my life. It was a year where I lost a very very loved member of my family and this made me reassess (again) what it is I want to be, who I want my children to remember as their mum and what achievements, travels and activities are important for me to do before I die.

2013 set me on a journey towards self acceptance. I have met some amazing, lovely people who have shown me that it is ok to love me, as I am, because I am enough.

2013 was a year when my health improved and my wellbeing exponentially increased. I think this can help with the whole - I love myself thing - when you feel better in one area it is easier to feel better in others.

So what do you do with a year where you actually achieved your intention for the year?

You start to feel positive to make other intentions again, go back to the resolutions that you had as a child/teenager/adult? Not for me. The pull was there to grab onto this wave and ride through all sorts of resolutions. But I resisted and decided that simplicity in its form was the reason last years resolution was successful.

In reality, I figured, the year is going to be what it is anyway. I can try and guess what is going to happen, or I can surrender a little to the flow of the year and set my intention to grow and learn from my life as we go. I can set an intention that makes me happy inside, not fearful of failure.

This year I have another simple intention: "have less. do more. BE more."



This can mean anything I want it to. It will be the basis for most of my decisions through out the year.  (Along with my Core Desired Feelings).

I would also love to recommend three books that have helped me make these decisions - The Desire Map by Danielle Laporte, Inspired by Claire Obeid and Spirited by Tara Bliss and Rachel MacDonald. (No affiliations etc).

So I am declaring my resolution for all to see. To make it real and dedicate myself to it.

have less. do more. BE more. 


What are your resolutions?

All images from Pinterest.


Monday, 3 June 2013

I am an Aunty!

On Saturday 25 May at 9.08 am something special happened. My brother in law and sister in law had a beautiful baby girl.

We will call her Little Ladybug. On Sunday we made the mad dash down to Sydney to meet her.

She is truly adorable. I have never been an aunt before. I have never had a niece or nephew to spoil and love and care so so much about. I knew she was special when we found out there was going to be a baby, but I did NOT know how much I would love her. I know now. It is different to having your own child, but I don't think it is any less powerful.

Because I haven't spoken to her parents about photos of her on my blog, we will stick to photos where you can't see her (because the wrap is covering her all up) and of her beautiful little feet.



Welcome to our family little Ladybug. We have been waiting for you and we are all going to have so much fun together!

Leanne xo

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Saving.........and spending...a lot!

This is our year of paying off debt.

We have done very very well until last fortnight.

Then we went on a Lindsey Lohan type binge.... but with money (not drugs) and we almost undid 3 months of saving effort!

And that doesn't include the thermomix I ordered as well....oops.



So some drastic efforts are being made to ensure this kind of thing doesn't set us back again. (The thermomix isn't going back though - just so we are clear.)

We have decided to jump on board with the no spend trend that is circulating...there are a million and one of these blogs, groups, clubs and hashtags going around, but ours is based very much in the reality of having four small humans living with us.

1. If it isn't on the essential list....we don't buy it.

2. If it isn't on the essential list and we really really want it, it goes on the save for list.

3. The save for list is checked and re-checked monthly to ensure our priorities haven't changed.

4. If it isn't on the essential list and we couldn't be bothered saving for it, we don't get it (we probably didn't want it that much anyway).

5. There is one loophole - there is a category on the essential list that states - 'emergency items'. This is there to include shoes that may be worn out, a fridge that is so close to dying it isn't funny, surgery's that may be needed etc.

To keep myself honest I would like to clarify here that emergency items do not include something just because it is on sale...or just because I just put it on the essentials list as we really needed it!

I remember trying to do this once before...it didn't last. I didn't have Daddy Mudpie onside and I didn't take drastic action like I have this time to ensure we only have access to money we earned!

So stay tuned...it wont be easy - but by the end of the year it will be worth it!

What do you do to save money?

L xo


Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Look at that face!

Big Butterfly is growing into such a lovely young person. All of my children are so generous, kind and caring. But there is something about this young lady that is so giving, she is a serving soul and enjoys nothing more than helping.

Her teacher recently said she is blessed to have her in her class and she would be lost without her! Other teachers and adults are always commenting on her amazing heart and her love for making sure everyone is ok!

I am truly blessed to be able to call her my daughter!



I love this one with all my heart xo

Sunday, 26 May 2013

We got chickens!

We actually got chickens. We have been talking about getting chickens for years. The coop was started 18 months ago and finished 17.5 months ago. I am not sure what happened...maybe we just needed to get our heads around owning chickens, I am not sure...but it took a long time before we got them!

The other day we went to the markets and there were chickens there. They were so cute and just before point of lay. I almost convinced Daddy Mudpie to get them then and there...he was stubborn though and insisted we do more to get the coop ready before we took them home.

The next weekend we went to the local chicken lady to see what she had...and we came home with the beginning of our flock!

They don't like me yet, but I am working on it! (Sultanas are helping)

Meet Fudge:


And Pipsqueak:



They aren't laying yet - we will probably get eggs towards the end of July - August, but we are so excited to be chicken owners - it just doesn't matter at this stage!

Fudge is slightly hormonal and is very distant from all of us but Pipsqueak is more relaxed and chilled...

We are also working on our vegie garden and we now have a lime tree. I am also in the process of convincing Daddy Mudpie that we need a mulberry tree near the chook pen....but I know I will have to save for that one ;)

Have a great week

Leanne xo

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Fashion Sense

My gorgeous kids are sometimes not so great at choosing clothes that 'co-ordinate'... however, it is very very cute when it is just for playing in the garden!


Little Butterfly's attempt at a 'warm' outfit

He is just gorgeous!

Leanne xo